NY D4

Today F and I intended on seeing the gospel choir sing in church, but we woke up to late and missed it.  Instead we decided to have explore the ethnic delights of vietnamese submarine sandwiches.  We took the subway to Canal street but it was incredibly far from the restaurant and we ended up walking for a very very very long time in the uber strong baking relentless heat.  perhaps it wasn't as far as i thought, however, i wore a skirt and F's boxer briefs with the intention of protecting my modesty and aiding in ventilation for my lower half.  Unfortunately the boxer briefs kept on rolling up and my sweaty thighs bulged out from under the shorts creating a painful chaffing to occur between my thighs.  i was very grumpy and wined a lot.  in the end we finally got to the restaurant only to find it was closed on sundays.  we were bitterly disappointed and we ended up taking a taxi to the Broadway Old Navy to get me a pair of shorts that would aid in the chaffing.  

I found a pair to my liking, but was apprehensive as it would be the second time in 14 years that I wore shorts in public.  unfortunately there was nothing else to be done as it was just too hot today (33 degrees they say, but i reckon much higher) to avoid not wearing shorts and with my super power to sweat copious amounts it seemed the best thing to do. nothing horrible ended up happening, and i got no heckling so my nervousness soon faded away; despite my awareness of jiggling thunder thighs... but man-- i was sweating like a rapist!

Next F and i took a taxi to the Merchant's House http://merchantshouse.org/ and experienced highway robbery while viewing a very poor imitation of a a 19th Century house of rich people.  We both agreed that London's Dennis Severs' House http://www.dennissevershouse.co.uk/ is far superior.  

After we left the Merchant house we stopped for a bite to eat at the best Mexican food i've ever eaten in my entire life.  it was magnificent! i ordered the Burrito de Nuevo York with rice and black beans and F and i shared a corn thing they do that is slathered in mayonaise and mexican cheese and bbq-ed.  its da fuggin bomb. I ate half of everything and asked to pack up the rest for now.  I'm eating it now and its cold and mushy and old but still delightful.  We sat outside and in the shade and i watched the lovely mexicano ladies walk bye and i pretended i was puerto rican with my tightly tied hair, big sun glasses, hoop earrings and big ass.

after lunch we went to the Tenament Museum http://www.tenement.org/ where they take an old tenament block and transformed it to different periods in time and keep it as it was then.  we had a very good tour guide 9/10 and it was a very interesting hour and 15 minute tour.  Plus, they gave me a fan which i think i will keep to shield me from the sun.

I am now at the Mill as F needs to work and i wanted to cash in on the free drinks, free snacks and A/C.  Later I will go back and play with Little Me.

NY D3

Today was special because it is Saturday so that meant that F could spend the morning with me before he had to go to work. We woke up early and went to Grand Central station, which was featured in some weird film F tried to make me watch once but i quickly got bored of.  I think its called Kostynchiwawa or something.  anyway, we wandered around for a bit looking at all of the shops and enjoying the beautiful sunny morning.  We walked through mid-town east and mid-town west and saw all the classy shops like gucci and juicy couture. we had breakfast at tiffany's (well, F had a cream cheese bagel and i had a bite of it) at admired their art deco elevators.  finally we ended up at FAO Schwartz; we were both disgusted by the pink girly sections and disappointed by the size and boringness of it.  but then we wandered into the lower section and the most wonderful thing happened.... we discovered the Make Your Own Muppet section.  i got very excited and wanted to make one but was put off by the price.  My sweet husband insisted i get one and let him pay for it as my "welcome to new york" present.  so i made one.  and she's beautiful.  I named her little me.

While Little Me was being assembled F and i walked around and looked for a lunch place.  we finally settled on a lovely little restaurant somewhere in new york.  i had 1/3 a reuben and a grapefruit juice.  i carried the left overs around with me for the rest of the day.  after lunch F and i hurried to pick up Little Me as F had to hurry off to work and i was going to Brooklyn.

I joined my tour bus (last day!) to do the last leg of my journey.  I got on the tour bus and right away i discovered my tour guide was a moron and knew nothing about Brooklyn.  He spent the whole time practicing various accents and saying things like, So over there are some Brownstone houses.  They are called that cuz they are made of brown stone or something i think.  I dunno, anyways, who cares right?" and to the welsh tourists, "man i love lilly allen!  hey if i go to england can you guys like hook me up?  she so fine!"  it was truly appalling.  the worst thing was, this section of the tour was not a hop on hop off trip.  i had to stay glued to my seat and listen to this trite.

As the day wore on, it became increasingly hot and i began to worry about my sunburn.  i was constantly applying sunblock but i worried that it was not enough as it was truly scortching hot on the open top bus.  as there was no access to a lower seating area i was forced to hide under a pashmina scarf and sweat beads of sunblock while hiding from the powerful sun rays.  i still got burned though, and at the end of the tour my but was dripping wet from sweat, leaving a noticeably wet and heavy mark on my ass.  

finally i am back home though and showered and dry and relaxing.  it is my task to find food for tonight.  i just want to play with my beautiful little me.

NY D2

I was rudely awoken this morning by a large fart noise, but amazingly it wasn't me.  after a bit of struggle i got out of bed, and got ready for another outing out in the big city.  i thought it would be clever to bring my ruck sack around with me to hold my thermos, sweatshirt, guide book, maps, jacket, and other things and a fanny pack for the smaller, more handy items like my wallet.  this was a mistake as my ruck sack is mammoth in size and i felt self conscious for my touristy appearance.  it was also sweltering hot today, unlike yesterday where it was freezing cold.

i was rushed out of the apartment and got on the subway with F.  he seemed irritated by my slowness again this morning, but in my defense, he takes 3 minutes to get ready, and it was 4:30 am for me!  anyway, i was a little intimidated by the complex subway system;  F got off to go to work, leaving me to fend for myself.  it worked out fine in the end and i found my bus stop.

Today i did the uptown tour.  My tour guide was excellent (10/10!!) and i stayed on the whole route just because i thought she was sooo good.  i noted down the places i'd like to go visit and thought that her presentation, husky smokers voice, and new york city accent was perfect.  i tipped her a whopping 2 dollars!  i especially liked how she told the noisy italian group at the front of the bus, "you wanna out shout me?  i'm from new york and i gotta microphone.  lets see you try"

We went through upper west side and upper east side, harlem, spanish harlem and morningside heights.  i saw the apollo theatre where they had dream girls!! i didn't get off the bus to look at it though cuz there was this obese black lady shouting obscenities at the clouds in the skies.  I noted that the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in Morningside heights is the largest anglican church in the world. its mighty big.  like an entire block squared.  my tour guide also recommended a restaurant in Harlem called Amy Ruth's southern soul food.  http://www.amyruthsharlem.com/ which she gave mouth watering accounts of their delights.  i am keen to try it out, however, i went to Ellen's Stardust Diner http://www.ellensstardustdiner.com/ at her suggestion and it wasn't great.  very kitch, very touristy, very noisy... so i guess- very american.  i had half a corn chowder soup and it was kinda really salty.

after that i walked to the subway and took it back to the upper east side.  i got out of the station and realised i was still really tired and fading fast; i needed a coffee.  i found a nice jewish cafe and ordered a  white coffee with sugar (!) and a kosher carrot cake.  i ate 1/3 the carrot cake and all of the coffee.  i felt replenished by the sugar and by the tense argument the couple next to me were having.  he wanted to take his way-too-hot-for-him wife on a holiday and she bitterly spat out, oh and what are we supposed to do with the kids?  and he suggested having somebody take care of them and she gave a list of reasons why that wouldn't work.  then he suggested something else ( couldn't hear properly) and it was met with a cold silence.  then he suggested just lunch alone, and she looked at him and said, where is all this money coming from then?  and he gets up and leaves the cafe and waits for her outside.  so she gets all red and cleans up his mess and follows him.  i then noticed a beautiful black forest cake and was sad that i didn't order that instead, although my carrot cake was really good.

next i made it over to the Frick Collection http://www.frick.org/  i was so pleased because i got in again under student prices ($5 as opposed to $15!!!) and it included an audio guide. i just love audio guides.  i simply cannot do without them now.  i spent well over two hours in this house/museum and discovered and redescovered artists and paintings to love. JB Corot "The Lake", El Greco "Purification of the Temple", Rembrandt "Self Portrait", Vermeer "Mistress and Maid", and especially James McNeill Whistler.  oh wow... he's my artist de jour yo. there was also a promotional video that was shown in the house/museum and i went in to watch it.  actually, i went in there to rest my now aching feet and was amused to see a funny looking japanese girl with a massive hat, mini shorts and knee high stockings (like proper transparent stockings) clap whenever her favourite paintings were shown in the video.  

i left the Collection very pleased indeed and decided it would be nice to end on a high note.  i needed to get home as not only were the jet lag and all the activities were catching up to me, but i had developed a sunburn on my face from the morning's bus ride.  i took the subway back to the World Trade Centre, and even transfered trains!  i stopped off at a local pizzaria that F took me to on my first night (but i refused to get a pizza, and instead ordered a philly cheese steak that i ate half of and left the other half to eat later, but its still sitting in my ruck sack probably moulding by now) and i ordered an aubergine and spinach pizza.  i have eaten the entire thing (except for the crust) and feel gross now because its way too salty.  all the food here is salty and i don't like it.  but maybe that makes me eat less... so i won't complain too much.

i need to take a shower now and then maybe a nap.  but i think it will be in the opposite order because i am god damned beat.

bye bye

NY D1

F made me wake up at 8:30 in the morning and take a shower.  i didn't like waking up so early (cuz its like 5:30 me time) but i did it because i'm a dutiful wife.  so we planned on walking to F's work, but i was too slow and wanted a coffee at Starbucks and he ended up putting me on a tour bus and taking the subway into work.  

i bought my ticket from Enrique of the Dominican Republic.  He was very nice, but he had only been in NY for 1 year and was still struggling with his english, however, he was taking night classes and learning fast.  I waited a very long time for my bus and finally got on the Downtown City Line Tour bus.  My first tour guide was 6.5/10.  It was pretty fucking cold on top of the bus and i was sad i didn't bring any warmer clothing.  i got off at the UN because the tour guide really seemed to think i'd like it, and i was so cold i had to agree. 

i went inside the UN and was happy to get a ticket for the next tour starting in 25 minutes.  i sat around and looked at my city book. i planned to go to the Pierpont Morgan Library and Museum that looked pretty close by.  My UN tour was interesting but quite somber.  there were lots of stuff on poverty and war and stuff.  it made me sad.  but then the tour guide mentioned genocide and how there were only 3 acknowledged genocides to date: Rwanda, Holocaust, and the Yugoslavian one.  I wasn't sad anymore and asked, what about the Chinese genocide by the Japanese during WW2 when 6 million chinese were murdered?  she blushed (sort of- cuz she was very dark skinned) and said- well, thats whats been agreed on by the UN, so i guess its a matter of personal opinion if you want to consider it a genocide.  there was a japanese man in the group so for the rest of the tour i decided to focus my time on glaring at him.

next i walked over to the Pierpont Morgan Library and Museum.  I stupidly wore ballet flats today and my feet started to really hurt after two blocks.  but i persisted and got there in one peice.  it wasn't very interesting, but i got in for student prices so i was pleased with that.  The museum is divided up into four sections.  the first section is cool cuz its the library of Pierpont Morgan as he had it in his day.  Pierpont is the daddy of JP Morgan.  but they are all dead, and left the museum to tourists.  its cool, cuz he collected lots of books and some stuff, but its not that cool. there was this ongoing thing happening in each section; old women were shouting at each other from across the room, "hey mary, ya gotta come look at this!" it was very irritating. the other rooms are lame but the top floor was interesting cuz it had cartoons from the new yorker.  there were some completely random things that were pretty cool.  I discovered two new artists today that i will explore more of later.  they are Lenore Beran (i reckon she is a contemporary of Jospeh Cornel, who i learned about in my sculpture class), and william anastasi.  

I left to museum and walked to the bus stop for me to continue my bus tour.  it was quite a ways away so i found a deli and bought a tuna wrap (low carbs) and a large coffee.  i waited at the bus at the waldorf astoria for a long time and then it finally came.  my tour guide was excellent, but unfortunately the tour terminated very shortly after i got on and i had to change buses.  then i missed my bus because i was talking a ticket salesman.  new yorkers are very friendly in fact, i was very pleased with that. i got on the next bus and was very disappointed with my tour guide so i got off at the next stop and got on another one.  the next tour guide was equally poor as neither of then spoke or seemed to know any facts at all about the city.  i got on the third tour bus and had the tour guide from before who i thought was excellent.  he was still excellent and was a 10/10 for tour guides.  i saw soho, and tirbeca, and the fashion district and ladies lane.  he told me many interesting things indeed. finally i got off the bus where i began and walked back to the apartment.  i popped into St Paul's church first, as i understand it is where they set up shelters for ground zero aid workers.  it was alright- full of memorial stuff and a bit depressing. i lingered there for a bit but they began a 15 minute prayer and so i quickly left.  

i tried walking back to the apartment but got lost for a long time.  this whole area is covered or fenced or bridged because of the construction works going on.  i eventually made it back home at around 17:30, and am now resting my feet.  i just washed my face to see the water turn grey from the pollution, and ate my tuna wrap (finally!) 

later tonight i think i will go out with FF and his french crew.  i will make sure i cut my toe nails before, and wear comfortable shoes.